It’s August 23 and we’re already on week #3 of school. Don’t even get me started on how ridiculous
this start date is, and the battles that I’ve been waging around bedtime and
sleeping in beds rather than “camping” on the floor. I should be lounging by the pool, applying
sunscreen and distributing snacks, but instead I’m logging hours listening to
everyone read, flipping flashcards, and completing parent assignments.
Yesterday was my first ever PTA meeting, which left me feeling
shell-shocked. In addition to my
cooking, cleaning, driving and tutoring duties, I’ll be adding the clipping of Campbell’s
soup labels, Boxtops, and the turning in of receipts from the local shopping
center. Oh, and I can’t forget to use my
reloadable gift card from the grocery store…..all small ways to make up
deficits of funding.
Elementary school is not all fun and games, as my now second
grader reminded me during his first week of kindergarten. Now the twins, which my body is still trying to
recovery from carrying during pregnancy, are the kindergarteners. They have embraced the school of their big
brother with vigor. The three jump out of
the car and strut into the building like they own the place.
I’m so happy that they are growing, and comfortable in this
new environment. We tackled the
first-day-of-school rally like pros.
Everyone lined up behind their teacher.
No one cried, and I actually found myself thoroughly amused and laughing
at the three wailing kindergarteners and their quietly weeping parents. The second day of school brought the start of
dropping off in the carpool lane, and I’m not ashamed to admit that I may have squealed
the tires and sung the Hallelujah Chorus as I pulled out of the parking lot.
So you can imagine my amazement when I nearly shed tears
this weekend over selling our train table.
The boys are in a new stage of play, leading to the purchase of a used
air hockey table. The train table had to
go. It wasn’t a beloved toy. We bought it used and the boys never fell in
love with it. The only reason it still
inhabited the basement was because of the functional surface it provided for
playing other things. I priced it to
sell quickly, and within an hour we had a buyer. She was going to pick it up the next day. And wouldn’t you know that I found myself
awake in the night, thinking about that silly table and mourning its departure
like I would mourn a child going off to college? What happened to the Hallelujah Chorus?
It turns out I was a little cocky, and this new phase of
life is going to take more processing than I anticipated. For the last seven years I’ve been wiping
noses and butts, getting drinks and snacks, and reading books before afternoon
naps. For seven years I’ve been my boys’
“person”. The one they see through
sleepy eyes in the morning, the one who kisses their owies, the one who gets
them started on a project or game when there’s “nothing to do”, the one they
call out of the shower to help them even while Daddy is sitting in the same
room. And now they have new “people”. Their teachers and peers who get to soak up
their sweet faces all day.
This is all leaving me a little lost. The rhythm of preschool had been
perfected. I had it all figured out and
was thriving. I had my groups that
filled me up and provided an outlet for giving back. I had my mommy friends and favorite parks and
playdates that left us all happy and exhausted at the end of the day. But that song has ended, and a new song has
started. I’m desperately trying to learn
the new rhythm. In the meantime, this
new song that is elementary school feels chaotic and filled with confusion. It will take time and practice to find my new
place. It will take time to develop a
new rhythm that balances the work and the play, which are both necessary in
this stage.
Ecclesiastes 3 is always comforting in times of change. “There is a time for everything, and a season
for every activity under the heavens.”
So my days of being the 24-7 person for my boys is over. It’s been a beautiful season—a magnificent
song. And the God who wrote that
beautiful song is composing a new one for me.
I can’t wait to learn it.
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