Life has been hard recently.
My Grandma died, my back is causing me excruciating pain, and with a 10th
anniversary trip to Hawaii on the horizon, my remaining Grandma is in the
hospital and not expected to recover.
Pain is such a big part of my life right now, both physically and
emotionally. But life goes on,
especially when you’re a mama. So I
hobble into preschool drop-off, grit my teeth in the carpool line, and cry at
the littlest thing, whether happy or sad.
Part of life going on is a weekly playdate with a
friend. Every Wednesday from 4-7 is
spent at her house or mine, letting the kids play while we get down to the
business of sharpening each other into better women. So I pulled up the shades and let her peer
into my pain. And then she did the same,
having recently received devastating news about her daughter with special
needs. We shed tears together. We cried out, “Why?” in mourning. Then I breathed truth into her
situation. Her daughter, despite
cognitive ability, is a ray of light in this world. She is overflowing with joy, which God is
using and will continue to use. My sweet
friend breathed truth into my pain. We
mourned a little more, then poured some wine and moved on to the business of
cooking dinner before the kids initiated a riot out of hunger.
God is so faithful to provide what we need in every
trial. He’s provided the presence of
dear friends to help ease my pain. And
he also provided a sermon on Sunday that had my name on it. Finding happiness in the midst of suffering……yep,
pretty sure that one is for me! It was
like applying salve on wounds to hear that asking “Why?” is a perfectly normal
reaction to hardship. We have all sorts
of examples of this in scripture, the most powerful being Jesus crying out from
the cross, “My God, my God. Why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46).
Unfortunately, there is no answer for the “Why?” question in
scripture. So we have to make the choice
to either become stuck in the “Why?” or move on and ask better questions like “Who?” Who is there for us in our suffering? We’re given the answer with sweet words from
Psalms: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed
in spirit.” (Psalms 34:18) God so often uses people to do His work, and
I could immediately identify God’s love for me in the people who have
encouraged and lifted me up through this difficult time.
In addition to “Who?” another better question to ask is “What?” What does God want to accomplish through this
pain? Sometimes we have immediate
perspective, and sometimes it takes time and faith to answer this
question. God specializes in turning
lemons into lemonade. One of the most
forlorn figures in all of scripture (and maybe all time) is Job. He suffered the loss of every one of his
children, all of his material possessions, and even his health. Through his loss and suffering, he held tight
to his faith in God. The “What?” of his
story was experiencing greater blessing throughout the second part of his life
than he had experienced in the first part, before the suffering started. Not to
mention the fact that Job has been a beacon of hope and understanding for everyone
who has suffered since.
I am so grateful to have wonderful people walking with me
through the valley, but even more grateful for the knowledge of how to walk
through a valley without losing my faith.
My girlfriend and I paused to
mourn and ask “Why?” And then we moved
on to the “What?” and could immediately identify glimmers of God’s purpose, which
soothed our wounds and gave us the strength to make it to next Wednesday when hopefully
we’ll have less mourning and more laughing.
Amen. Let it be!
Check out the sermon that inspired this post:
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