Problems with Personalities: Trying to fit a circle into a square hole

Life has changed drastically since my first Mother’s Day six years ago when I was one week into the mothering gig.  My husband and I were both reeling from the experience of bringing a baby into the world.  He was so moved by what I went through that he bought me an emerald necklace (delaying the epidural until the last two hours of labor and delivery totally paid off;-).    Those first weeks as new parents were overwhelming as we tried to figure out how often to bathe him, when to let him cry it out, when to introduce foods and which foods to introduce.  Each new milestone seemed like the most important and therefore merited extensive research and preparation.  

Now we have three boys.  The baby stage seems a distant memory, but I still find myself compelled to research whatever aspect of parenting has me sweating.    My latest obsession has been to understand my children’s personality types.  We have three boys with three distinct personalities.   Two of the three boys have personality types that are shared by just fourteen percent of the population.  This leaves me worried in the short term about how they will function in an education system, which has been designed to teach to the majority.  I also worry about their long-term lives and how they will function in the big, bad world that will not understand them.

Becoming educated on this subject matter has been enlightening and encouraging.  Understanding what makes each of my children tick and adjusting my parenting so they can feel loved and supported is empowering.  But this only alleviated a portion of my worry.  And then I heard author and mother of an autistic son, Emily Colson, speak.  She shared her story of being the mother of a severely autistic boy, all the challenges and heartache that she has experienced, and how she discovered joy through it all.  Most importantly, she discovered that God uses her son to shine His light in the world.  I was moved to tears at how this brave mother refused to let her son be a statistic or left on the sidelines of life.  Just like every person on this earth, her son was created in God’s image.  And just like every person on this earth, his purpose is to love God and love others.  He’s 24 years old and does this beautifully.  He is living out his purpose despite being a minority in our culture.  

Suddenly the worries about my perfectly healthy and “normal” children having personality types that may cause a few minor bumps in the road was put into perspective.  And not only was it put into perspective, but it provided a whole new lens to view these unique boys.  I should delight in the ways they are different from the other kids in the class.  I should encourage them to embrace the way God made them.  

I have been in the majority much of my life.  My personality, learning style, health, religion and appearance have always landed me square in the center of the majority in our culture.  The journey of motherhood has helped me understand and accept differences and appreciate, rather than judge those differences.  If I could just see each of my sons, and every person I meet the way God does….as a treasure created in the image of the Creator.  Each of my days would be overflowing with beauty!  What a way to live life.

**If you're interested in learning more about personality types (both your's and your children's), I'd highly recommend the book "I'm a Keeper" by Ray W. Lincoln.  The book provides quizes to identify temperment, descriptions of each temperment, and ideas for how to successfully parent each temperment.