There’s been a voice developing in my head over the past year. This voice takes shards of my day and polishes and smoothes until it’s something I don’t mind putting in my window....souvenirs of my motherhood adventure. A toddler meltdown over a popsicle that in the moment makes me want to bang my head against the refrigerator door turns into a funny story that reminds me how far we’ve come from middle of the night feedings. And when I really tune into the voice, I often find insight into God and His love for me. This blog is the recording studio for that voice. My hope is that the souvenirs of my day serve as entertainment and encouragement to those of you who are banging your head against a refrigerator door. And that you’re inspired to find a voice of your own that turns these trying moments into treasured souvenirs.

Monday, January 26, 2015

Diagnosis: The Human Condition



It was a rough trip to church yesterday.  Cheese slices were distributed to two hungry boys who promptly started complaining that the cheese slices weren’t big enough.  A new spring coat was handed to a third boy who started throwing a crying tantrum over not liking new coat and wanting to wear his sweatshirt instead.  My husband and I were left looking at one another and wondering what we did wrong in our parenting to end up with this ungrateful brood of children.  My heart hurt as we walked into church and I looked at these beautiful little boys who had exhibited such ugly hearts.  

I was sitting quietly, letting my own heart rest and thinking up parenting tactics, when I realized how God must feel when I exhibit ugly behavior (which is hardly ever….definitely not that morning in response to my children’s ugly behavior!?)  He surely feels disappointment, but at the same time unconditional love for me.  And He has the bonus of being omnipotent.  He knows what I’ll do before I do it….He knows how I’ll live my life before I live it.  Doesn’t that put a twist on parenting?  Darin and I lay in bed many nights wondering where our children’s lives will lead.  What type of men they will be?  What type of career they will have?  If they will always awaken in the middle of the night and need something?  It was sobering and encouraging at the same time to realize the deepness of God’s love for each of us.  He loves us knowing our lifetime of mistakes and downfalls, while I was struggling with ten minutes worth of my children’s mistakes.

Of course the moment culminated in the perfect song with the chorus “It’s Your breath in our lungs so we pour out our praise”.  Thank you God for reminding me that my children are only suffering from the human condition, and that you love them anyway.  Thank you for reminding me that you have given me everything I need, including the very breath in my lungs.  And may I use that breath to praise you for your love and in turn show that love to those naughty little boys.  Amen.

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